Social Question

crazyandbeautiful's avatar

Is there such thing as phone harassment?

Asked by crazyandbeautiful (554points) April 13th, 2010

I went out w/a guy on a date one time a month ago. It was okay nothing special. He called me a few days later to ask me if I would go out on another lunch date. I said yes. Let me know the date and time and where to meet you. I did not hear from him so I thought he was not interested. A week later I have been getting calls from him. I do not pick up because I really do not want to be bothered by him. Is there such thing as phone harassment? He calls my cell and leaves me messages. And I am really getting annoyed now. Can I go to the police if he keeps calling?

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27 Answers

DarkScribe's avatar

Not unless you have asked him not to call. If you don’t answer he has no way of knowing that you regard his “persistence” as harassment.

Blackberry's avatar

You have not simply asked him why he flaked out instead of ignoring him right away? Or have you simply asked him to stop calling since you are not interested anymore?

jlm11f's avatar

Have you considered just answering once and telling him you’re not interested anymore? If not, then you don’t really have a legit case to call the cops.

anartist's avatar

You told him to call you. Just because he took a week to get around to it does not constitute “phone harassment:”—answer him, blow him off or set a date, but don’t ask something as silly and irresponsible as this!

deni's avatar

answer and tell him you’re not interested. okay, aka what @PnL said. so yeah. maybe he just thinks you’re being hard to get a hold of.

abbydowns's avatar

Answer, and explain you have moved on pretty simple.

rebbel's avatar

@crazyandbeautiful
“and leaves me messages.”
What is he saying/asking in his messages?
Maybe he is worried for you or wondering why you don’t answer him.

Seek's avatar

There is such a thing as phone harassment.

This is not it.

What this is is a case of a really rude woman, and a guy who can’t take a hint.

rahm_sahriv's avatar

Not until you tell him not to call. How hard is it to ask the guy to leave you alone? Odds are he won’t call you again. If I was him, if you didn’t respond to the first call, I wouldn’t be bothered with you, but maybe he is concerned, again, why be bothered over you at this point is beyond me, but hey.

The only way you can consider this harassment is if you tell him not to call. If he still does after you have told him not to, then go to the police.

crazyandbeautiful's avatar

none of his stories made any sense and really I did not like that someone cant be honest with me. then he lied and sent me an email through the dating website he lost my cell number. yeah right. then 2 days later hes calling me. why cant he just take a hint i am not interested anymore? hes desperate im not. get lost punk.

crazyandbeautiful's avatar

@rebel i did answer him. the first time he called me. he asked me to lunch. and never called back. it took him two weeks to call back. if he was that interested he would of called back immediately. he even told me he was living in the house he bought from his x. so probably doing her and having me as backup. sorry i dont play that kind of game.

Blackberry's avatar

@crazyandbeautiful Once again…..Did you tell him yourself that you do not want to speak to him anymore? No one can read your mind…...

crazyandbeautiful's avatar

i always returned his calls. no i did not tell him not to call me. but when your living in your xs house that leads me to believe hes doing her. im not that stupid. i was in a relationship just like he is doing now.

Blackberry's avatar

@crazyandbeautiful Well there you go…...Tell him that you don’t want to talk to him and then if he persists, you can take other steps.

plethora's avatar

@crazyandbeautiful Your head is screwed on straight and, just sitting here on the sidelines, I’m wondering why you are being harassed and called rude on this thread. You are not required to tell him you don’t want him to call and even if you did it would hold no water with the cops. Calling after being asked not to call is not a crime. Yes, there is such a thing as phone harassment. It has happened to me. And this is getting close to that realm. Your instincts sound good. If it took him a week to call, he’s not that interested, and I would assume, like you, that he was trying to use you as a backup in bed.

Trust your gut!!

Seek's avatar

@plethora

It’s rude because she doesn’t have the sense to pick up the phone and say “Look, I’m just not that into you. Please lose my number. Thanks.” She just expects the guy to stop calling. I admit, and I said before, that the guy can’t seem to take a hint, but she can’t call it harassment if she never asked him not to call.

john65pennington's avatar

First, you must give this person a warning not to call you again. write down the date and time of your notice. if he calls again, give him a second warning. its not necessary, but it will look good in court for you. third call, advise him that you are going to call the police and make a report. after being warned not to call or text anymore, you are now ready to sign a warrant. the officers will give you a card with your report number on it. go see a magistrate and sign away. the charge is harrassment.

plethora's avatar

@john65pennington Thanks…I was wrong. Didnt know you could do that.

plethora's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr If she wants to do what @john65pennington suggests that is the best course, but she is neither stupid nor rude not to do that. Yes, she should should expect the guy to stop calling. Anybody that calls repeatedly with no encouragement is being a pest….like a telemarketer. And I would be thoroughly pissed if I were receiving the same tone from you that she is receiving.

jazmina88's avatar

phone harassment is heavy breathers, people cussing you out or threatening you.

Be straight up and man enough to answer the phone. That should take care of it.

plethora's avatar

@jazmina88 There are a number of ways that phone harassment can be conducted…trust me. And answering the phone may not only not take care of it, it may actually encourage it.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

Telemarketers and collections agents prove that phone harassment exists.

crazyandbeautiful's avatar

@plethora thanks i dont see how i am being rude. i mean i didnt hear from him and im a just supposed to drop everything and make time for him? i think not. life goes on and he needs to move on. one of my friends suggested to change my number. i really dont think i should seeing ive had it for sometime now. oh i am trusting my gut. i think hes got someone else calling me. cause i have different numbers calling me at different hours. and its very annoying.

crazyandbeautiful's avatar

@john thanks for the advice. i will really look into it. if it should continue. so far i have gotten 2 calls from a different number. not him. so i dont know if he got someone to call me so his number dont show up. i dont know this is odd. and getting to weird.

thriftymaid's avatar

Yes. But, your scenario does not rise to the level.

crazyandbeautiful's avatar

i think it does. i called back. it took him 2 weeks to call back. no i didnt tell him not to call. but wouldnt he get the hint im not in to this anymore? i dont need some wacko to stalk me. because i have been stalked before. and yes this time i will get the police involved i have no problem there.

plethora's avatar

Harassment can very well be a telephone call from a very nice person who speaks very nicely to you….but who does it over and over and over at exactly the same time on exactly the same day for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks, but who is a pastor in your church and someone you do want to just tell to go to Hell and get out of your life, lest you feel like a big bad unreasonable guy, and of whom everyone would think ill. Numerous kind warnings, by phone and over lunch until finally finally he was told he was stalking and that he should stop immediately.

Wise up folks. Harassment can take many forms and is most assuredly not just heavy breathing….WTF!!!

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